75,000? Really? April 6, 2009

Approximately one year ago I put a video on YouTube. It was something I put together whilst volunteering with the youth ministry team at a church in Ohio. Some words and pictures to go along with a Misty Edwards song, to be used one week during communion to help the teenagers focus and reflect. I remember finding it harder than I thought I would. At the time I struggled to connect with the song for some reason…  weirdly it’s now one of my favourites. Anyway, I created a YouTube channel mainly for sharing a few vlogs with some friends and thought I may as well add this video too.

 

One year later and it has just passed 75,000 views.

 

And because YouTube doesn’t count multiple views from the same IP address, that means 75,000 different computers have viewed that video. That’s amazing! I mean… the video only exists because in a meeting of a few people in a church in Ohio it was decided that it would be a useful thing for one service, one week.

 

Now people all over the world have watched it. Amazing. The song (I Am Yours) is fantastic and I have no doubt at all that this is the reason it has been viewed so many times - the video is not that special! But just the idea that God can use that set of circumstances to bring that song to so many people and encourage them, when we thought it was just for one Sunday morning… (I’m going to sound all American, but I believe they do have the only phrase that fits here)… it blows my mind.

 

It reminds me how God can do whatever he wants with our little actions. They can have repercussions as big as he desires.  I find that incredibly encouraging. I so often feel that in the grand scheme of things and the big picture of this world, I am so small and insignificant… anything I do is just a whisper in a hurricane. And this is true. I am that small, and it is just a whisper. But God is the ultimate sound technician. So that whisper can do whatever he wants it to. It can go to one person or 75,000. Or 75,000000. The number doesn’t matter because that’s not what its about.

 

It’s about God and his glory. And he can and will use the little I’m able to do in whatever ways he chooses – big or tiny - to glorify his name. Brilliant!

Independent woman? March 3, 2009

I was listening to the radio this morning and they started playing Independent Woman by Destiny’s Child. As I was (naturally) singing along I suddenly wondered about the words I was actually saying. There’s such a big emphasis on being independent in today’s society, like it’s terrible to depend on someone else. And it just struck me that this is kind of weird.

 

I mean, to all intents and purposes I’m independent. I live with housemates, have an OK job, pay my rent and bills. I can cook, I do my washing and I know how to change a lightbulb.

 

But I depend on people. I depend on my family. I depend on my friends. If I didn’t… I think I’d be a pretty unsociable and unloving person. If it didn’t matter to me if they were there when I turned around or not… what would that say about my relationships with them? And if I didn’t depend on other people, then would other people really be able to depend on me?

 

More than anything else I’m dependent on my heavenly father.  I can’t do anything without him, but with him all things are possible. Knowing that I can depend on him, that he will always be there and will never abandon me… it’s amazing. And essential in my life. He gives me strength, and courage and a reason to get out of bed in the morning on those days when all I want to do is pretend the world isn’t there.

 

So do I want to be an independent woman?

 

No thanks!

 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

What if…? January 25, 2009

What if the contents of our Facebook profiles wasn’t within our control?

What if Facebook automatically filled out our “info” sections with 100% accurate information? All the music we really like, not just the bands that we want to admit to listening to. Our actual favourite films, and not whatever sounds cool and credible. Our genuine interests and activities, and not just those which we think sound impressive.

What if we had no control over which pictures we were tagged in?

What if there was no way to hide or embellish things about ourselves, but Facebook simply showed us as we are. Warts and all. How different would our profiles be? And if the answer is very different, then surely they’re not really profiles of ourselves at all, but fictional inventions of people who don’t really exist?

How honest is your profile?

Is there such a thing as being too honest?

 

What if every time you logged into your Facebook account it updated your status with what you were really thinking?

Lately I Have Been Mostly Listening To… August 12, 2008

…this song. I can’t seem to find a version on youtube to link to which isn’t a) a live version with poor sound quality and irritating screaming audience members or b) a cheesy fan-made slide show which doesn’t capture the song at all. So if you want to hear it, take my advice and download it, legally. It’s well worth the 79p. 

I’ve owned the album with this track on for a pretty long time now, but the lyrics to this have just kind of suddenly dawned on me recently. Maybe because of moving out of home… I don’t know. It’s a lot about taking risks, and I have really been thinking a lot lately about how many of the decisions I make are in some way motivated by fear. Which is kind of ridiculous, since I do not need to be afraid. Of anything.

“Do not give way to fear”  1 Peter 3:6

Anyway… here’s the song!

 

The Walk

Deep in a wood
Where nothing is seen
A tightrope is strung to his heel
And high on the walk
He’s down on one knee
He waits for the slow of the breeze

Oh, wow
Look at him now on his feet
High up in the sky

And every moment, extends endlessly
If feels as though time isn’t moving
And every second, hold breath not to breathe
And watch as he moves to the beat

Well down on the floor
I watch from my seat
I watch as he sways with the trees
And slowly he moves
But so elegantly
I’m all on the edge of my seat

On the tightrope everything’s bare
All that there is from here to there
On the tightrope the goal is quite clear
Don’t lose yourself in your fear

Everyone waits on a walk
Some are long and some small
But all of them tall
And everyone must make a choice
Will I go for it all, and possibly fall
The tightrope is thin
I could possibly win on the walk

Well high on the walk
The tightrope it bends
And nobody knows where it ends
To win or to lose you’re all on your own
‘Cause everyone must be alone

On the tightrope everything’s bare
All that there is from here to there
On the tightrope the goal is quite clear
Don’t lose yourself in your fear

- Hanson

Relocation, relocation, relocation… July 22, 2008

Hello there. Apologies once more for the blogging hiatus. I fear it may continue for a little while longer. I am a couple of weeks into my move to Cambridge and have been dashing back home and up and down the country at the weekends for various weddings. All this means that my brain has been far too busy and exhausted to settle to writing anything even as vaguely comprehensive as my usual offerings! I am due to move in a little more properly to my new abode in the coming week or so, and I hope that at that point I shall be able to blog a little more effectively once more.

 

In the meantime there is not a lot to say but that things seem to be going well so far. I have ceased getting lost on my way to work, my colleagues are friendly and the sun is shining! I have also nearly finished reading Captivating – the book I mentioned before – and it has given me much to think on. I still thoroughly recommend it to any Christian women – even if it doesn’t ring as true for you as it does for me, it makes some interesting points and has certainly got my brain ticking over, even now.

 

In the absence of anything useful or otherwise entertaining, I shall leave you now with a video clip, from Top Secret. I watched this with my sister years ago, laughed rather a lot, and then forgot about it. I’ve just been reminded and so delight in bringing you this brief clip:

 

Some thoughts June 23, 2008

One of my friends lent me a book recently called Captivating. It’s about being a Christian woman. But it’s unlike any other book I’ve ever seen on the subject.

 

It’s amazing, and kind of frightening, and it made me cry. All because it is so… true. I haven’t got very far with it yet, but it’s talked a lot about how we feel as women. The things we don’t even really let ourselves acknowledge that we feel. Like the idea that we’re both not enough and too much, all at once. Not enough of all the good things; not funny enough, smart enough, attractive enough, and too much of the bad things; too emotional, too dependant. So we feel like we’re somehow failing, and we try to put up a facade so nobody will find out about our weaknesses.

 

The same things can’t surely apply to everyone, but for me this book has been completely spot on so far. It’s really making me think, particularly about the way I view myself and how I relate to others. It’s made me realise that I frequently hold back from people, especially members of the opposite sex, and I just tell people what I think they want to hear. The things that I think will make them have a positive opinion of me. And I try to hide things about myself that I think won’t go down well, because I worry that I will somehow let them down and they will think badly of me. But in doing that, I’m not really letting people know me at all. I’m underestimating my friendships, and in some ways inadvertantly insulting my friends and myself all in one go.

 

I’m going to try to work on that.

 

Pause for thought April 28, 2008

“If there is anything you own that you cannot give away, you don’t own it; it owns you.” – Albert Schweitzer

 

Interesting. Think about it for a minute. What couldn’t you give away?

Warning: my head may explode March 3, 2008

Whenever I fly it always gives me a sense of just how big the world is and how tiny I am in it. It’s been said that flight, the invention of the internet and other such things, have made the world a smaller place. I disagree. I think we are just now better equipped to grasp just how vast the earth really is.

It starts before I even get on board the plane. Sitting at an airport and watching thousands of people come and go, hurrying to travel to different destinations all over the globe, each for different purposes, different reasons for travelling. Flying up above the clouds and thinking how huge the sky is, and how far the universe goes on beyond, how many millions of people are waking up on the ground below, into a million different situations. How many conversations are going on at that one point in time, how many children are being born, how many lives lost… in every passing moment.

It makes my brain hurt.

I think about how complex my life is, how many people I know, how I feel about each one of them. The issues I have. My hopes, fears, prayers, memories, desires.  All the different situations I’m in and who I am to different groups of people. And then realise that everyone’s life is at least as complex as mine. I am one in 6.5 billion. And somehow they all fit together, and we all exist together, and interact, and impact each other. Yet so much of the time we only think about our own complicated existence, never considering that everyone else has just as much of an intricate mixture of things and people in their lives. We exist so much inside our own heads. Everybody in the world, all 6.5 billion of us, has a myriad of thoughts in their minds at this precise moment.

I haven’t even started on my thoughts of the rest of creation outside of the human race! Billions of bizaare species of every creature imaginable… all living, breathing, hunting, breeding, fighting, growing. There is so much going on in the world in every split second. Rain, snow, hurricanes, tropical storms, blizzards, sunshine, fog, hurricanes. And every part of the world is different somehow, yet it all keeps going.

And beyond the earth, above the sky… huge lumps of rock and ice hurtling through the vast expanse of space, orbiting a giant ball of flaming gas, perfectly balanced in it’s gravitational pull. Beyond that… galaxies of stars, stretching on and on and on… and we think this world is big?? I am this miniscule creature, amongst billions of others, on a tiny rock, in the smallest corner of God’s universe! And yet…

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

- Luke 12:6-7

God knows how many hairs I have on my head. How many cells I am composed of. He knows every thought I have ever had and ever will have. He is holding together every part of me and sustaining my existence every passing second. By His power I keep breathing. And not just me, but everyone. All 6.5 billion of us. Those who love Him and those who hate Him. He sustains his enemies even as they defy Him and deny Him and rage against Him. And even more than this… not only did God create me, and continue to sustain me, but He loves me. And not a fleeting love as we know the term, but real, deep, never-ending love. Love enough to send his son to die in my place, when I did not even want to know him.

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

- Romans 5:6-8

That is grace and mercy at an utterly incomprehensible level!!!

Where does it go? Where does it stop? February 24, 2008

Watch for the sign of the lollipop…. #Do do do do doo do do do do do do doo, do do do do doo do do do do do dooo!#

There’s a memory for all you Playdays watching late 80s & early 90s kids Oh and a quick question: which was the best stop? I think the Tent Stop was probably my favourite, although the Dot Stop was the more memorable. I never used to like the Playground Stop… I think watching all those other kids having fun just made me jealous! They were running round and going down slides while I was stuck indoors - where’s the justice in that?!

It’s another one of those times when I’m starting to write a blog entry with no idea where it’s headed. They’re a bit hit and miss I know, so apologies if it turns out to be lame! I had more weird dreams last night… I guess my mind is very active right now. Maybe it has to do with my watching episodes of Alias before I go to sleep. My dreams almost always feature people that I know too - it’s really rare for strangers to crop up. I wonder if that’s the same for everyone. My friends do seem to pop up in the most unlikely places and scenarios though. It can be a bit disconcerting!

I played on a Wii today! It was a lot of fun, but it made me want to go and play actual real-life tennis. It’s not quite the time of year for it though. Anyone up for a game in the summer, let me know! I think it must’ve been quite amusing for anyone walking down our road, since our tv is right by the window, so I was leaping about in full view of any passing strangers.

I’m flying out to the States in just 3 days now. Nearly 2. I can’t wait to see all my friends out there again! There will be many fun times   My box of stuff which I couldn’t fit in my suitcase when I returned home at the start of November finally arrived here on Saturday! It was amazing – there was stuff in there I’d actually forgotten I possess! Including my Ohio State baseball cap. Go Buckeyes!

I mentioned Alias earlier… in case you’re one of maybe 5 people on the planet to whom I haven’t already told this: Alias is the best tv show ever. It was created by J.J. Abrams before he made Lost. However don’t hold that against it as it is in many ways a polar opposite to Lost, in that LOADS of stuff happens in every single episode.  It ran for 5 seasons, though the last one was cut short due to the travesty that was it being cancelled. If you’ve never watched it go and rent/buy the box sets NOW!

Things January 12, 2008

God is great. I’m trying to live for Him. 

I love coffee. It’s quite possible I have a caffeine addiction. I don’t know for sure because I try to never go without coffee and in doing so I avoid the chance of finding out.

I find Kevin Spacey very very very creepy.

I do not believe The Sun, The Mirror, The Daily Star or anything in that vein deserves to be called a newspaper. When they fabricate the subject matter it isn’t news, it’s fiction. Using words of only one syllable, and mainly pictures.

I have a (possibly slightly irrational) intense dislike of Hugh Grant.

I prefer red wine over white, no matter what I’m eating. I don’t like beer at all. I don’t understand how people find going out and getting drunk a fun pass time.

Rugby is the best sport.

Tennis players are great athletes.

I think whichever government is in power will eventually screw up. I don’t believe a word most politicians say. The exception is my local MP who has actually impressed me by being active.

Will Ferrell isn’t funny.

I don’t have to know everything technical about the cars to enjoy watching motorsport.

Danny Wallace is a genius. In a weird kind of way.

I like both cats and dogs, and don’t feel the need to chose a side.

I enjoy taking photographs of everything. People, places, nature, random objects…

Lame euro-dance music should be banned. Especially when they take classic 80’s songs and ruin them.

I think Venice is more beautiful than Paris.